Last week, I went in for my first deep tissue massage. I've gotten massages before, but they were always swedish, for deepish swedish. Here are 30 thoughts that went through my head.
- It smells very tranquil and relaxy in here.
- Let's see, undress to my comfort level, hmmm...I guess I'll bare it all like I do for a swedish.
- Aaahhh, now that a comfy bed.
- Is this face holder thingy supposed to be comfortable? I feel like my face is slowly leaking through this hole.
- I hope my answer of "neck, shoulders, and tight calves" is sufficient enough. I really hope she just focuses on the calves. Those things are hard as rocks
- I want firm pressure, that's what a foam roller provides, right?
- Did I say firm, maybe I meant light pressure. Ow! No pain, no gain right. This calves aren't work themselves out.
- Oh great, I can tell my legs feel super prickley even though I just shaved this morning. Darn goosebumps.
- Ok, I get why they call this a "deep" tissues, she's definitely diving deep.
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Ok, maybe I'm getting used to this. That spot doesn't hurt so bad anymore.
- OW! How'd she find that spot?
- I think you need more lotion, friction is not a good thing.
- Should I say something about the friction and pain
- It's ok, Lynsey, she's just trying to help.
- Ok, I really don't like you lady.
- How do you keep finding new spots to torture me on.
- Suck it up Lynsey, this is good for you.
- This is definitely not good. OW!
- Dang, I wonder what she is like with bread.
- I'm sorry, did you just ask me if I am still awake?
- You're saying people actually fall asleep during your assault on their body?
- I guess, I'm just being a baby then.
- Wait, your done already? There's no way it's been 90 minutes
- I guess time flies when your suffering
- Never doing that again.
- Why, yes I would like some water, it's the least you can do after what you just did to me
- Let me do a body check. Ooohhh, my calves feel like actual muscles and not like stone.
- And my shoulders feel super relaxed.
- Ok, I'm sold, when can I get rubbed down again?
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